The clock reads 8:43 AM as I start this entry – the last thing I do before I pack up my computer, get in the car, and start motoring for Chicago.
I realized today that it has now been a full decade since Kurt Cobain died. 1994. Fuck how can it be that long ago already? 10 years since the biggest, saddest day fora music movement and alternative atmosphere that I will identify with until I die. 10 years ago I was in 6th grade. Also seems weird that it’s that long ago. That was the year that the world really seemed to open up before my eyes.
And so maybe it’s appropriate that today is the day I leave to finally start working towards the things I really want to do in life. Today is the day I make some tracks and get the fuck out of Dodge. I’m sitting here, grooving on In Utero, not quite sure about how to feel. It’s a big day for me, a happy one to be sure, but also bittersweet.
Every time you move forward, you leave something behind. What am I losing today? It’ll probably be a little while before I know. But one has to go forward with the faith that tomorrow will be better and that the things you’re moving towards will mean more to you than the things you’re parting with along the long road there.
I’ve gained and lost a hundred friends in the last ten years. I’ve lived in 4 towns in 3 states (+1 on both stats if you want to count DC). I started out as a science geek who spent the weekends launch rockts. He’s still among my best friends, but my how both of us have changed. Never would either of us have thought, I think, that today I’d be leaving home to go to Chicago to try and dig up work as a photographer’s assistant.
Can we ever really get comfortable? For now, I’m going to say no. Time drags us along at too quick a pace to ever really get used to the way things change. But so long as you live with a little passion and keep some fond memories in your heart, every day will bring you that little bit closer to Nirvana (pun not intended, but seems appropriate today).
So put on a little Collective Soul, break out the army surplus boots and that raggged old flannel, and remember the goold ol’ days of the heyday of alternative music while we all take one big step forward into our futures. Love it, people – this is all we’ve got.
