Hi, my name is Dave and I live in Chicago. Right now I want a beer but I CAN’T BUY ANY. We just spent an hour looking for beer, but I sit here empty handed. Started out, we went down the block to Dominick’s (grocery). Oops, Sunday night is the only night of the week they’re closed. So we walk around the corner to the convenience store that has mostly alcohol and like 3 bags of chips. They’re closed to. So we get in the car and drive down Broadway to the Jewel Osco by the Berwyn stop on the Red Line. They’re closed too. Next stop, Walgreens. All the drug stores back at school had alcohol, so why not a Walgreens in Chicago? Because they don’t have alcohol at the Walgreens here, that’s why. Driving north on Broadway back towards my place, we stop at BP. I mean, gas stations have beer. It’s one of those simple truths of life. Either that or I’ve been lied to and decieved all my drinking life. Well, apparently I’ve been lied to and deceived all my drinking life.
Small tangent. It’s a BP. A gas station. In Chicago. On Broadway. HOW THE FUCK DO THEY NOT HAVE BEER???? I feel cheated.
And so we drive up the street to another liquor store….also closed. So we decide to give up and park the car….and that takes about 20 minutes. Walking back, we pass Moody’s Pub. So I figure I’ll just stop in and have a pint. Only they don’t take credit cards, and the guy behind the bar looks at me like I have a third nipple in the middle of my forehead for asking. Nearly home, I figure I’ll stop and ask at St Andrew’s Inn (the bar I live above). They do take credit cards. Sweet! But wait, there’s a $20 minimum? Well fuck that.
And so now I’m back in my room drinking orange juice wishing it had some vodka in it.
If nothing else, I guess the high point of the excursion was seeing the cashier at Walgreens, who looked so much like Allen Ginsberg that I actually did a double take.
