So I know I’m getting closer to the things I want to do, though at this point I still have no idea where I’m going. I know I’m good at photography. I know I love and am passionate about photography. I know I’m capable of producing high-quality images in a range of categories. This much I know. But what do I want to do with it?
The trouble right now is that I’m away from everything. The only time I get little bits of inspiration right now is when a new issue of PDN or CA or ID comes in the mail and I sit there digesting all it has to offer over a day or two. But that passes and then I’m back to being downright directionless. Right now my hope is that once I get to Chicago and start working with photographers, my inspiration and motivation will come flooding back to me.
I haven’t picked up my camera in three months. For a little perspective, that’s the longest I’ve gone without shooting in almost a decade. And I’m only 22. Granted, given that I’m mostly interested in shooting still life stuff at the moment, part of the lack of drive right now is due to my not having a workable studio at my disposal. I have a camera, yes, I have lights. I lack a studio stand, props, an most importantly funding.
I’ll get over this sooner or later, I know. It’s just frustrating right now because I’m still in the midst of this constricting fog of a burnout. It started last fall and I’m still coasting on it now. It’s gotten a lot better, but still isn’t gone by any means. The tricky thing with burnouts for me is that I’ve got to have something to snap me out of it. Something big enough to jump start my motivation again.
Again, hopefully being actively involved in my chosen profession in the capacity of an assistant will do just that for me.
And if not, I’ll have to look for inspiration elsewhere.
