I’ve just spent the last 2 hours looking at the want ads in the paper and on all sorts of job listings. I’ve got to say – it’s fucking depressing to see how little work there is to begin with right now, and on top of that how little of what’s out there I’m actually eligible for. I want to make this work. I have to make this work. I can’t afford to fail at this. But how the hell am I supposed to make it work when shit is like it is now? I’m trying the best I can. I’m working my ass off.
I’m trying to keep a good attitude about all of this – but it’s getting harder and harder to stay positive when I haven’t worked in two weeks, people won’t pay me what I need to be paid, alternative work options are almost nil, and I’m finding more and more that assisting isn’t really what I want to be doing right now.
What are my options? If I can’t find work here, I can’t stay. If I find work here but it’s only enough to get along without moving ahead, then it’s only holding me back. If I go back to Missouri, what can I do there? I’ve already tried finding work there – for over two months I looked and could only get shitty, underpaid factory work at the very end.
This is a really shitty situation. And if anyone feels like telling me that it’s not as bad as I make it sound, you can blow it out your ass. I’m tired of certain people who are still in school making suggestions as though I’m too fucking dense to know how to look for work, where to look for work, etc. Things are shitty in the job market right now, plain and simple. I’m not blowing it out of proportion, I’m not being a crybaby. This is a bad situation and I don’t like it.
And don’t tell me to cheer up. I’m working my ass off and getting nowhere – I’m allowed to be pissed.
